Just in case you are now single and have hope of fixing that relationship, here are 5 helpful hints.

Many relationships run into problem areas. At some point, your relationship, no matter how good, will have issues. These issues can be easy to work on. Some relationships can have bigger issues, however. These issues are much more difficult too work around. If you are working on fixing a broken relationship, you need to be sure to be cautious. You want to make sure that you take all of the necessary steps to fix what has been broken.

Identify the Problem

The first tip that will help you to fix your broken relationship is to fully identify the problem. Both of the people in the relationship need to have a complete understanding of the state of the relationship. If there was a specific event that caused the issue, you both should understand how that happened. If it was a series of events, you need to clearly define the issues and what caused them.

Let Them Know How You Feel

The second tip to fix your broken relationship is to be honest and open about how you feel. A relationship can only work if there is strong communication. You need to be open about how you feel. Be careful with your woods, but do not sugar coat your feelings.

Do not hide any of your feelings. You need to let the other person, in the relationship, know your emotions. Be descriptive. Are you angry? Upset? Sad? Mad? Disappointed? The more descriptive you can be, the more your partner will understand you.

Pay Attention

You need to be sure to pay attention to how they feel as well. Communication goes both ways. Listen to how descriptive they are about their feelings. Ask penetrating and specific questions to better understand how they feel. By doing so you will grasp the root of the primary problem.

Small Gifts

Small gifts can be a perfect way to start to mend a broken relationship. While it will not fix everything, it will show that you care, and that you are thinking of them.

Small Dates

Going on small, inexpensive but fun dates can also be beneficial. Having fun together is the perfect way to start to mend broken hearts and a broken relationship.

You need to make sure that you both fully understand the issue at hand. IF you are working on fixing a broken relationship, you need to be on the same page. From this point, you need to let them know how you feel. Be open about how you feel about the situation, and what you think can help it. Be sure to pay attention to what they have to say as well.

When you are sure that you are both on the same wavelength, you need to pay attention to the small things. Small gifts and small dates, especially gifts and dates with more meaning, are a good way to start to mend the relationship. You need to remind yourselves why you are in the relationship. This will help you to fix your broken relationship.

God created Man (Humans) to be in a relationship not only with Him but with others.  The most perfect relationship is two people – man and women.  And, any real good relationship is worth the trouble of restoration.

Hoping this helps,

larry@christiansingleagain.com

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• 

When you break up with someone, you will find that it is hard for you to take your mind off of them. It is always hard to take your mind off of your ex after a breakup. You need to make a conscious effort to focus your mind on other things to stop thinking about them. There are 5 major ways for you to do so.

Have a Girls/Boys Night

Having a night with your friends is the best way to get your mind off of someone. Hanging out with the girls (or boys) will help to bring you into a better mood. It will help you to focus on other activities. You need this distraction to take your mind off of your ex.

Give Yourself a Trip to the Spa

Spas are incredibly relaxing and peaceful. Going to a spa is an easy way to get your mind off of someone. You can clear your mind of all thoughts when you are at the spa. Simply focus on the treatment that you are receiving, and the relaxation you feel. While it may only be for a short time, the relaxation can be key to your long-term effort to get over your ex.

Cleanse Your Life (get rid of everything that reminds you of them)

You cannot take your mind off of someone if you are constantly reminded of them. You need to get rid of everything that you have that reminds you of them. Some people stow away all of these belongings. Others burn them ceremoniously. Choose the method that will help you to get your mind off of the person as fast as possible.

Go Out!

If you are trying to get your mind off of an ex, you need to get out of the house. If you stay in your house, you will simply wallow in self pity, thinking of the person that you used to be with. Going out, whether it be with friends or by yourself, will keep you from thinking about what couldÕve been.

Travel

If you have the money to do so, this is the perfect time to travel. When you travel, you are caught up in the excitement of the new place that you visit. Traveling is an easy and exciting way to take your mind off of someone.

You need to give yourself something to think about when you are trying to take your mind off of your ex after a breakup. You need to do things that will consume your attention and focus. Spa trips, downtown trips, and travel trips can be an easy way to do so. These 5 tips simply give you different ways to take your focus and attention away from your ex.

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• 

Now what – The relationship you cherished wo well has ended.

If you and your ex have parted ways and you’re not sure what to do now  after relationship is over, I’ve got a few ideas.  Losing a loved one can really send your world into a tailspin. It can be especially bad if there was infidelity or you were blindsided and didn’t see it coming. No one and nothing can completely take away the pain, only time can do that, but there are many things that you can do that will help you focus your time and attention onto more positive things rather than just focusing on your pain. Keeping your focus forward instead of backward can at least make it seem like you are healing more quickly.

The things that you absolutely, positively should not do after a breakup are:

1. Go out and drink ( or do drugs) and stay in a stupor for days or weeks on end. This won’t help anyone.

2. Go out and hook up with anyone you can find. Again, this may help ease the pain but it will only make you feel worse once your on your own again.

3. Try to beg your ex to take you back.  If it’s over, it’s over. Nothing you can do and if your ex isn’t interested in a reconciliation, there’s nothing you should do.  Hold your head up and move on.

Now that you know what not to do, here are some things that you should do. Again, these can help ease the pain but in a positive way that won’t leave you with a lot of regrets:

1.  Spend time with supportive, positive people.  No one is suggesting that you start dating, you shouldn’t, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go out for lunch, coffee or to the movies with your friends so you don’t sit at home and wallow.  Having loving supportive people around will help, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.  Keep your alone time to a minimum in the beginning.

2. When you are alone, and thinking about the past, make sure to use this as a constructive time. Don’t just think about the ‘what ifs’ instead try to figure out what changes you can make to make yourself a better person. This will pay dividends in all aspects of your life, not just your romantic life (which believe it or not, isn’t over, it’s just on a little break).

3. Work on you. If you’ve been meaning to change your hairstyle, go on a trip, take a class, or get in shape, what are you waiting for? This is a great time to take on some positive new challenges in your life. It will force you to think about the future and not dwell on the past.

4. Always try (no matter how hard it can be sometimes) to keep yourself focused on the positive.  Try to look at your future as a wide open canvas that you can create anything you want.  If you can train yourself to think like this the breakup won’t seem as painful and you may even find yourself enthusiastic about the possibilities the future holds.

Hey, let’s face it, break ups suck. There’s no way around it. But we will all go through it at one time or another so anything that you can use to help get over it more quickly and move on with your life is a God send.  Just use these tips on the do’s and don’ts of what to do after relationship has ended and you’ll be on the right track.

If you know Jesus Christ as your savior then call on Him.  He has promised us He will never leave us and is always available to give you the courage you need to go through his pain of an ending relationship.  Stay close to your Christian family for the positive support you will need.

Going through any painful experience without knowing Jesus Christ.  If you do not know Him as your personal Savior then find a Bibile teaching church or E mail me at this post and I will try and help.

Good day!

larry@christiansingleagain.com

http://savemymarriagedisussion.com

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• 

Hi Friends,  Unrequited Love Is One Of Lifes Most Ugly Emotions.

I’m not really sure that there is anything worse than loving someone who does not love you. It can be torture to have such strong emotions and not have them returned. No one can make it all go away, but there here is a little advice on unrequited love that may make things a little easier.

It may sound like a cliche, but it is true, it’s not you it’s them.  The fact of the matter is that many people end a relationship too quickly and than later regret it. The person who left you may very well one day realize that that was the biggest mistake of their life. You might very well be the one that got away, and they may always regret it.

Don’t assume that they left because they didn’t love you, it could have been that they didn’t realize they loved you or even that they were afraid of the love they felt for you.

I know this does little to ease your hurt but at least your pride can be a little less injured with this knowledge.

Sometimes it is just not the right time. Sometimes you meet someone and one or the other of you is on the rebound or just not looking for love. Neither of you may realize it right away and when one of you does figure it out and leave it can leave the other person feeling blindsided.

Sometimes we sabotage ourselves. We ignore obvious signs that the other person just isn’t that into us. We pretend they are interested when we know in our heart that they are not. Make sure you are completely honest with yourself about the situation which is good  advice on unrequited love.

You also need to make sure that you are not sabotaging your relationships in other ways. Many people who don’t feel good about themselves have a hard time believing that they are worthy of love. If they feel that way, they often push love away without even realizing it. Make sure that is not what you are doing.

Try to honestly figure out what it is that you are doing that is causing you to love the wrong people or to push love away when you have it.  You may be surprised to find that love really is within your grasp you just have to learn to let it happen in it’s own time and not try to force it.

If any one of these scenarios is the reason they left you it is possible that someday the two of you will come back together. But, do not wait for that day to come. Instead live your life and trust that if it was meant to be, it will be. That is the single hardest thing to do, but it is good advice.

This advice on unrequited love may help you sort things out and find the solution to your relationship issues. It is not always easy to face up to your flaws and make changes, but it can be done. Don’t give up, realize that you are someone who is worthy of love and follow your heart. You will find love.

And because you are created in God’s image how can you not be worthy of love.  Take the time to evaluate and find value in yourself through God.  Then, you will shine to the world.

Hoping this helps,

larry@christiansingleagain.com

http://savemymarriagediscussion.com

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• 

Hi Friends, Saving A Relationship – Stepping Stones – Keeping It Alive are steps you can take to avoid the change to being single again.  As a professional sales person we learned it is a lot easier to keep an existing customer than to lose them and go looking for a new one.

So, if you are now in a troubled relationship possibly this might help.

What are the best steps to take for saving a relationship?  It just depends on what the problems are and how hard both of you are willing to work to make things better. There are no easy answers and no quick fixes.

One of the first things you need to ask yourself, and one of the hardest things to answer honestly, is whether or not your partner really wants to be in this relationship (or at least wants to be in it badly enough to be willing to make some changes).

That may sound odd, but a lot of relationship problems start because of unrealistic expectations. It’s very common that both people in the relationship won’t be on the same page. One person will actually care a whole lot more about keeping things together than the other partner.

As long as the one who cares the most is willing to turn a blind eye to the indifference of their partner and carry more than their fair share of the weight in a relationship, things might go along pretty smoothly.

But sooner or later the one who is doing all the work will start to make demands on their partner and resent the lack of help they are getting.

In a lot of cases this is the point where the relationship really starts to suffer (not that it was really healthy to begin with but if one partner is getting their own way all the time at least they are happy and don’t tend to rock the boat as much).

It’s very important to honestly assess whether or not this is the scenario in your relationship. If it is, you might be better off just leaving and finding a true partner, otherwise you will be having to do all the work and that will get old eventually.

If you and your partner are both grown ups and able to communicate and are both willing to carry your fair share of the weight in the relationship, than you have a chance at making things work out. This is what it will take to save your relationship.

One person can not do it all on their own, it takes a partnership. Even with a partnership you may still want to find someone to help you both learn how to establish a different, and better, dynamic in your relationship.

You can opt to go to a counselor, you can find a lot of self help information online and off, or you can just sort it out yourselves. It’s up to you but as long as you are both willing to put in the time and work you can make your relationship the type that you really want.

Whenever you have two people in a relationship who are really willing to try to make changes and work together to make things better, you will almost always find that saving a relationship is possible and even likely. This is the secret: both of you have to want it and be willing to work for it.

Remember also, God needs to be #1 in any relationship.  For the two of you to come together and stay together you need a God that you both are accountable to.

Hoping this helps,

larry@christiansingleagain.com

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• 

Hi Friends,  A lot of relationships fail because they were started the wrong way.  Expecting a relationship to last that began as an adulterous affair is asking for trouble. Lets take a look at this modern day problem.

Lasting Love Is Began And Finished God’s Way!

Affair relationships, can they really last? If your relationship has started off as an affair and the two of you are wondering if you should leave your spouses and try to make a go of your relationship, you have to carefully consider the consequences of such an action.

It’s very tough to keep a relationship going if it has started off by both of you lying and cheating. For one thing you’re both going to have a real problem trusting each other. I mean, you both know that you’ve both cheated, how can you ever really be sure that you won’t each cheat on each other?  Even if the two of you can overcome that, there are still all the other issues to consider.

For one thing, are there kids involved?  This is by far the hardest situation to work through. No one wants to hurt their kids  and it will be virtually impossible for the kids to ever feel warm fuzzies for the person who broke their other parent’s heart (at least that’s the way the kids will see it. More than likely they’ll let their cheating parent largely off the hook and blame the other man/woman).

Even if there aren’t kids involved, you have to remember that this relationship is just like any other: it starts off hot and passionate, but can you keep that alive? Your marriage probably started off that way too and look where that is.

One of the biggest reasons the two of you felt so free in the first place was because you didn’t share any responsibilities.  The day to day grind is almost always what slowly works it’s way between couples and causes the problems. You have to be realistic enough to recognize that the very same thing will happen between the two of you over time. Your brand new ‘soulmate’ may not seem so brand new in five or ten years… just like your spouse.

Of course, having considered all of these facts there still remains one question you have to ask yourself, do you still love your spouse? If you can honestly say that you just don’t feel love for your spouse (and I’m not talking about the fireworks, tingling toes feeling that always fades and changes in any relationship) than despite the pain it will cause you might be doing them a favor in the long run by leaving.

If it comes to that, it’s best for everyone involved if you don’t let them know that the catalyst for the breakup is your affair. That is one secret you should keep to yourself. Just let your spouse know that the marriage is over and be as compassionate as possible.

Affair relationships almost never work, but if the two of you have decided that even though you met in the wrong way, you still have a deep love for each other and that your marriages have been over for a long time, you might as well give it a go.  Just keep the fact that you’ve been together while you were still married to other people, between the two of you. No need to cause unnecessary pain.

For more information on healing from a cheating spouse go to http://adulterysurvivalkit.com .

Kinda simple isn’t it.  Just follow God’s plan and even though it might seem tough, it will be the easiest and the most successful way.

Hope this helps you think twice when you begin that next relationship.

Larry

larry@christiansingleagain.com

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• 

Hi Friends,  Here it goes again I lost love, maybe but don’t give up!

When the reality hits and you find yourself saying “I lost love” it can hit you like a ton of bricks. I know when you come to that realization it can feel like life simply is not worth living anymore and it may seem like you will never feel happiness again. I think most of us have been at that point before.

Don’t give up though, no matter how impossible it may seem that you will be happy again, you can be. I am not saying that it will be easy or that you won’t go through a lot of pain… you will. I am just saying that you can find love and happiness again and the better you deal with your breakup the faster you may recover from it.

I am not an expert but I have been through it before and I may be able to offer you a little advice.  Here are some ideas I have used myself to help me  get over my pain as quickly as possible. Some of my ideas may just help you.

1.  Give yourself as much time as you need. I remember that once I heard someone say that you should allow yourself to grief over your lost love for one week for every year the two of you were together. Personally, I think that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

There is no formula for determining how long it will take you to feel like you have moved on and can be happy again. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. For the most part, it will take as long as it takes.

I do have to say one thing though, if you find that you simply don’t seem to be bouncing back even a little bit after several months, you may be suffering from depression and you may need a little extra help to get back to your old self. If that is the case, find a counselor who can help you out, you don’t need to suffer unnecessarily.

2. While you are healing, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to enjoy the things that made you feel good before (as long as they are positive things).  If you used to enjoy hanging out with your friends, than hang out with your friends.

If you used to enjoy working out then workout.  Just spend your time and energy engaging in positive things that make you feel good about yourself and life in general.

If you forget about your pain for a little while than that is just a bonus.

3. If you have been planning on doing something such as take a class or go on vacation, do it now. It may be just the thing you need to keep your mind active. While it will take you as long as it takes you to move on, there is no one to say that you have to stay inside your home dwelling on your pain the whole time.

Most of us have, or will, say the words “I lost love” at some point in our lives. It is a rotten thing to go through, but how we handle it can help determine how soon we will be able to move on and find love again.

Hoping this helps,

Larry

larry@christiansingleagain.com

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• 

Hi Friends, Yes you God and your partner can save a relationship if you both trust Him and each other.  My wife and I had been married 51 years and it wasn’t all smooth sailing.  When troubled waters come along, and they will, you each need to grab an oar and pray.

Being in a relationship isn’t always easy. At the same time, some relationships are better than others. The good ones are great and have a way of making you feel wonderful. The bad ones, on the other hand, seem to suck the life right out of you. Then, there are the relationships that are on the verge of being over or have already fallen apart.

It is quite common for relationships to feel the strain when we are faced with an immediate crisis. What the crisis is doesn’t matter all that much. If your relationship is already on shaky ground and an emergency comes up, then take care of the crisis as good as you can first, before you start to work on your relationship (but start working on it as soon as you can).

There are plenty of resources available to help you fix your relationship. In today’s world, one of your first stops for such information is the internet. There are tons of websites, forums and guides all designed to help you and your partner get along better and deal with the problems that come up in just about every relationship.

While you may be able to find information easily, it doesn’t mean much if you don’t do anything with it. Take the time to learn what you need to know, but don’t stop there. You also need to follow through on it and take action.

It takes work from both people, and you have to give at least as much effort as you are expecting from your partner. Of course, you may end up doing more work, but you can’t expect your partner to fix the entire relationship. After all, there are two people in every couple, and that means you need to do your part to make things better.

One of the things that can get us into trouble is perceptions. We often see situations as being much worse than they are. Blowing things out of proportion only leads to more problems, obviously. So, if you are able to turn a negative into a positive, then you can do a lot to fix a relationship. That doesn’t mean you should make everything the best thing ever, because that would only serve to cover up some problems. The key, then, is to see the good wherever you can, but also remain realistic about what’s going on.

When it comes to relationships it’s much easier to understand how to fix them than it is to do the actual fixing. The things that are worth fighting for are rarely easy. But don’t lose hope because even though it may not be easy, it is possible if you are willing to do whatever it takes to make things better.

Now, the choice is yours. You have just read some great advice, and you know you can get more online, but if you don’t do anything with it then you have just wasted your time. But if you just do it and start making the necessary changes, you will like the results you see.

I have a wonderful Life Application Guide that I will send you for FREE!  Just drop me an email and I will shoot it on over to you.

Yours in Christ Jesus,

Larry

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• 

Hi Friends, Happy New Year and I wish you the best in 2012.  In or out of a relationship now some of these tips on breaking up can be helpful for all of us.

Breaking up is never a fun thing to do, yet there are times when it just has to be done. However, that doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk about it. Accept the fact that things are coming to an end, and do your best to handle the break up with some class. With that in mind, here is some breaking up advice to help things go more smoothly.

1. Make sure that you’re sure. We’re all human and that means we make mistakes. Perhaps you think you want to break up, but do you really? Maybe you’re just frustrated and don’t know how to handle it, or maybe there is something else going on that is making you think you want to break up. Whatever the case may be, be sure you want to break up before you start following through. After all, it’s much easier to never start the process of breaking up than it is to try to undo it once the idea has been expressed.

2. Don’t be slow. This one can be tricky. Telling somebody that you want to break up with them is a hard thing to do. You don’t want to be with them any more, but you don’t want to hurt their feelings either. But it’s best to break up as quickly as you can, otherwise you will feel trapped in a relationship you can’t wait to get out of.

3. Be ready. Before you tell the other person that you want to break up, you need to make sure that you have thought things through. Be prepared to give your real reasons, then stick to them. You need to be prepared for them to beg you to stay, and you also need to be prepared for them to get angry. You should also give consideration to how and where you will tell them.

4. Do it in person. If you want to break up, then you need to do it in person. This is not the kind of thing you should handle over the phone or via e-mail. The only exception is if you are trying to get out of an abusive relationship. If that’s the case, then the less time you are around them, the better.

5. Wrap up the loose ends. Breaking up often entails more than just going your separate ways. If you have been together for a while then there may be bills, debts and property to take care of. Do your best to be fair, but don’t be a pushover just because you want it to be over. It’s a good idea to get any agreements in writing, just to be on the safe side.

6. Be nice. You want to break up, but there is no reason to be mean about it. You are simply moving on to a new chapter in your life. Do not try to hurt the other person. Treat them with dignity and respect, not matter how undeserving you think they are.

And for some good tips on beginning to date again you can send along  $12.95 to paypal for larryp11@yahoo.com and I will send this book right out to you via the email.

Easy Breaking Up Advice

Breaking up is never a fun thing to do, yet there are times when it just has to be done. However, that doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk about it. Accept the fact that things are coming to an end, and do your best to handle the break up with some class. With that in mind, here is some breaking up advice to help things go more smoothly.

1. Make sure that you’re sure. We’re all human and that means we make mistakes. Perhaps you think you want to break up, but do you really? Maybe you’re just frustrated and don’t know how to handle it, or maybe there is something else going on that is making you think you want to break up. Whatever the case may be, be sure you want to break up before you start following through. After all, it’s much easier to never start the process of breaking up than it is to try to undo it once the idea has been expressed.

2. Don’t be slow. This one can be tricky. Telling somebody that you want to break up with them is a hard thing to do. You don’t want to be with them any more, but you don’t want to hurt their feelings either. But it’s best to break up as quickly as you can, otherwise you will feel trapped in a relationship you can’t wait to get out of.

3. Be ready. Before you tell the other person that you want to break up, you need to make sure that you have thought things through. Be prepared to give your real reasons, then stick to them. You need to be prepared for them to beg you to stay, and you also need to be prepared for them to get angry. You should also give consideration to how and where you will tell them.

4. Do it in person. If you want to break up, then you need to do it in person. This is not the kind of thing you should handle over the phone or via e-mail. The only exception is if you are trying to get out of an abusive relationship. If that’s the case, then the less time you are around them, the better.

5. Wrap up the loose ends. Breaking up often entails more than just going your separate ways. If you have been together for a while then there may be bills, debts and property to take care of. Do your best to be fair, but don’t be a pushover just because you want it to be over. It’s a good idea to get any agreements in writing, just to be on the safe side.

6. Be nice. You want to break up, but there is no reason to be mean about it. You are simply moving on to a new chapter in your life. Do not try to hurt the other person. Treat them with dignity and respect, not matter how undeserving you think they are.

And for some good tips on beginning to date again you can send along  $12.95 to paypal for larryp11@yahoo.com and I will send this book right out to you via the email.

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• 

Hi Friends, coping with a relationship break up can be gut wrenching.  My experiences over the last 6 months have led me to believe emotional pain is harder to deal with than physical pain.  You just can’t pop a pill for a crying seizure.

Yuck, one of the worst things to have to go through is the loss of a relationship. It may not seem like you’ll ever feel like you again. In most cases it will take time to get back to the ‘normal’ life you had before. The longer and more intense the relationship the longer it usually takes dealing with relationship break up.

There are no hard and fast rules about how long it should take to move on after a breakup. Everyone is different. Sometimes friends and family may mean well when they tell you to “get back out there”  but in reality, they may be depriving you of the opportunity to get your head around everything that has happened.

This time to regroup and sort everything out is very important, if it’s done right. It’s not about wallowing in ‘what if’s’ or stalking your ex, or spending weeks on the couch convinced that your life is over. If you spend this time analyzing the relationship, good and bad, try to figure out honestly where you went wrong, you’ll stand a much better chance of being able to move on with minimal baggage.

Now, no one is saying that you’ll be able to look at things logically and clearly in a few weeks. In most cases it will take a month, or months, to get enough distance to be able to start deconstructing where the relationship went wrong, and that is one of the reasons you don’t need to rush the ‘moving on’ stage.

On the other hand, you should be making at least small, consistent strides forward after a month or so. If not, you may need some extra help. If you’re just not moving on, even in baby steps, you should seek help. The same thing holds true if you find yourself engaging in self destructive behavior such as having sex with anyone you can find or drinking too much.

Don’t think of this as being a sign of weakness, as a matter of fact, nothing could be further from the truth. It takes enormous amounts of strength and courage to admit you have a problem and ask for help.

If you are doing o.k. on your own than one of the things you should be doing is spending time doing positive things with positive people. Most of us have that one friend who seems to be able to make us laugh no matter what is going on in our world. Spend time with that person.

It’s also a good idea to rediscover yourself, those parts you put on hold when you were with your partner. Those things you like to do but didn’t do because your partner didn’t want to do them. Now is the time to re acquaint yourself with those activities.

Breakups suck, I’m sorry but there’s just no polite way to say it. The nice thing is that if you approach it the right way, you can find constructive ways of dealing with relationship break up that might not only help you move on a little more quickly, but that also might help you out in your next relationship.

Hoping this helps,

Larry

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• 

to have never loved at all?

Hi friends, on December 6 2011 I lost my first wife after 51 years of marriage.  The carnage of incurable cancer began 6 months ago. The hills and valleys of hope and despair were just part of the downward spiral to the end.

I truly believe, now you can tell the one you love a million times “I love You”, but you still want to tell them one more time.  I have been a little lax in my posting and am considering whether to post again or not.

Jewell passed quietly and when we arrived at the last 12 hours of her earthly life I held her and talked with her.  I was totally alone with her singing and hugging her.  I am so glad that God gave me the opportunity to walk her to the gates of heaven.  It just hurt to turn and leave her.

She is and will be sorely missed.

So you need to find the person you love right now and hold them and look them in the eyes and tell them you love them. Life has many 90 degree turns and we never know when or where they will be ocurring.

God Bless and a Merry Christmas,

Larry

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• 

When people have said they were sorry about their divorce.  I couldn’t help but think “don’t be sorry, maybe is was just  long overdue”. The marriage was not good.

People wonder how they can they  have a successful relationship. There are all kinds of doctors and writers who are more than willing to share the ‘secrets’ to having good relationships, if you buy their books. I’m going to tell you some simple things to do, for free.

You see, as humans we tend to make things so much more complicated than we need to. I honestly believe that you know exactly what you need to do to have a good relationships, you just aren’t willing to do it.

Take my sister for example, she calls me at least once a week to complain about what her boyfriend has done. I’m not talking about little annoying things (like leaving the toilet seat up or not putting the paper away when he was done reading it) either, I’m talking major things like screaming at her and treating her like crap.

She has even said that she should break up with him, she knows she should, she just doesn’t have the guts to do it. I try to tell her that she would probably be happier once she did it, but she’s just not willing to do it. Again, she knows what she needs to do, she just won’t do it.

I think that’s the case for most people. In a lot of cases people are just in a relationship with the wrong person. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but more often than not you either picked the wrong person to start with or you have both grown in different ways and are no longer compatible.

So the one big key to having good relationships is to not settle and pick someone who you know in your heart isn’t right for you just because you don’t want to be alone. Instead be a little more picky and find your version of the perfect person. Be willing to overlook some smaller things that you don’t like but don’t turn a blind eye to things that will be real trouble such as lying, cheating, or abuse.

If you figure out what things you absolutely don’t want to have in a relationship and then hold your ground when you meet someone who displays those traits, you’ll greatly increase your odds of finding your ‘perfect’ partner.

Anyone can have successful relationships as long as they remember that it starts with them. Take some time to get yourself to the point where you are confidant enough to hold out for someone who will treat you the way you should be treated and you’ll find yourself in a great relationship sooner than you’d have thought.

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• 

Hi Friends,  We are not all extroverts, so here is some help on how to get a conversationgoing in a group setting.

“It’s Got To Start Somewhere”

I don’t know about you friend, but I have been more lonelier in a room full of people than I have ever been solo backpacking.

http://backpackingsurvivalkit.com

Here  are five practical tips for starting a great conversation in a group situation.
Starting a conversation is not always easy. Especially when you don´t feel comfortable with the people you are conversing with.

There could be an eerie feeling of awkwardness at the start of the interaction unless you know the five secrets…

Here are five secrets to starting a great conversation with a group of people:

1. Get everyone involved.

When starting a conversation, introducing people to each other could be necessary. That is if you don´t know each other or some of those present don´t.

Then, connect one of your group to the topic you are talking about by inviting him to contribute. Or you might simply relate one person to another with their commonalities to encourage dialogue.

2. Choose a topic.

When starting your conversation, choose a general topic. One that everyone can relate to. This will let everyone feel that they belong. This is a great way to encourage everyone to share ideas.

3. Do not drill with questions.

This should be avoided especially when asking one person only. The person may feel that he or she is facing a firing squad. Asking too many questions to a person may let him or her feel uncomfortable.

By doing so you might give that person a reason to leave the conversation. The others may also feel uncomfortable with this – they might think that they will be asked next!

4. Break the ice.

At first, there may be awkwardness among the group. You can work to break the ice. Each one of the members is just waiting for someone to do this. You can do this by cracking a joke to make them laugh. You can also start by telling a story. This may lead them to share their story, too. Then, everything will follow.

5. Ask open-ended questions.

These require a more than yes or no answer. These questions will make the flow of your conversation much smoother if done intelligently. These questions can even lead you to another topic.

Asking questions allows you to quickly test the waters to see which topics people are interested in discussing. Just be careful to ask with a pleasing tone.

It is not necessary that you use all of these tips or to use them in order. You can simply choose which ones are most appropriate for the situations you find yourself in. What matters is using these tips to kick off a conversation on a positive upbeat tone.

Once you start experimenting with new ways to start conversations you will notice what works best for your personality. At this point it will all be much easier and before you know it you may even enjoy meeting new people.

Jesus Christ used somewhat of the same strategy when being asked question that were redundant. He would just turn them around and put the question back on the questioneer. And if you have read the New Testabmen any you will know that this promoted a lot of conversation.

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• 

Hi Friends,  It can and does happen usually after a special breakup you will enter a stage of depression.  How long and how deep depends on the individual.

I know as Christians we are not supposed to suffer depression.  But, depression is a reaction to an emotion. And, the emotion is usually caused by external forces.  Forces beyond our control , powerlessness, can really bring the tent down.  Because, somehow we not only feel we should be able to control our own lives but those of others.

Aint true!

Relationships depression is pretty common when you’re in a relationship that has recently had problems like a break up or separation. You might feel that it’s crazy to feel this way, because you’ve saved the relationship and are still together. You’re supposed to feel happy, not suffering from relationships depression.

But it’s fairly common because no matter how good the relationships might be going now you recently had a rocky patch. If your biggest fear then was that you would lose the other person, you should be happy, right? You’re still together. So why the relationships depression?

Going through that rough period can be devastating. You feel all sorts of emotions. If cheating was involved, the break up or cooling off period was probably even worse. If you were cheated on, you know there’s nothing more painful that can happen over the course of  a relationship.

And if you were cheating on and you forgave that person to stay in the relationship, it’s going to take some time to fully heal. No wonder you feel depressed! You’re putting yourself out there again after being hurt.

If you cheated and the other person forgave you, maybe you feel depressed because you hurt them and its just now sinking in? Or maybe you feel hounded, as if he or she suspects your every move? You also might be unhappy because maybe you really didn’t want to stay in the relationship and you’re only now becoming aware  of it.

If no cheating was involved, depression can still strike and make you feel bad. For whatever reason, you or your partner weren’t together, or were considering breaking up. That’s a hard pill to swallow!

You’re faced with knowing that maybe the other person was going to decide to live without you. Even though in the end they decided to stay with you, that they were considering something else is a painful thing!

And sometimes relationships depression is brought on by fear. When things were over or almost over, you felt horrible. And you remember that feeling now. You might imagine, without really knowing it, how you would have felt if the relationship had not gotten back together.

The fear of that happening now or what you would be feeling now if it had can make you depressed. That’s a natural reaction.

And overall, a break up is one of the most painful things a person can go through, no matter what the reason. Even if you didn’t officially split, things were tense enough that the possibility was there. When a relationship ends, you go through the same thought processes and emotions as you do with any painful ending, like a death.

So it’s a very difficult life challenge to have a break up or a near break up. It’s great that you’ve worked it out and gotten back together. Just stay strong in the relationship. Make sure that’s where you really want to be, and the relationships depression will pass.

I have found it helpful as a Christian to try and handle all of my reactions as a way of glorifying God.  If you are a Christian just imagine who you have living in you.  Trust Him.  Allow Him to heal you and your relationship.

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• 

Hi Friends, It take a bit of emotional stuff to get over that special breakup.  And, yes you will heal, and yes it won’t hurt as much as time goes by.  But, what about right now?

Most relationships are special, but some are more so. I believe this information can be useful to guys and gals in taking the necessary steps to moving on after a special break up.

So if you are having trouble getting over that  guy,  whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting go of someone who you had a close relationship is very difficult.  There is a space in your heart as well as a space in your life that are not quickly filled with anything or anyone else.  Yet, people do get over a relationship.  Here are five steps to get over guy you still like.

First, you need to let out the hurt.  Know that it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over that guy.  Some people keep a journal of their experiences because writing about the pain helps.

One thing that I have seen some people do that is very effective is to write a long letter about the relationship to their ex boyfriend.  Talk about the good times and bad.  Talk about the relationship and how he hurt you.  Let it all out.  When you have finished the letter, burn it.  That’s right.  Don’t even think about sending it to your ex.  Instead, let flames consume the letter.  That provides excellent closure to the relationship.

Next, you have to decide that the relationship is really over.  If you hold on to the thought that he will change and come back to you, you will never get over this guy and move on.

Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end of the relationship.  A good example of this is to exchange all of the personal property that you have of the others.  Don’t even keep the over sized t-shirt of his that is so comfortable for sleeping in.  And, if there are things too minor to exchange (like a toothbrush), throw them away.  Clear your place of all of his things.  It is a way of clearing him from your life.

You need to depend on your friends through this time.  Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but your girlfriends are forever.  If you have been in a hot and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored your friends for a time.  Not only will your girls help you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your social life.

Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences to your break up.  Sharing their pain will help you understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing, others have survived and you will too.

You will probably have extra time on your hands now that you have broken up.  You used to spend a lot of time with your ex.  Use this time productively to get over that guy.  Go to the gym and get your body in shape.  Take up a new hobby.

One of the best things you can do during this period is to join a group or a class.  Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends.

And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get over guy, the best thing you can do is move on.  Between your old friends, the new friends you make in your class or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time, you will emerge as a new person.

Moving on is the best way to get over that guy.

And, as a Christian you have a ton of resources available to you.  Get back into your church and church family. Remember, God does not make junk people.  He has a purpose for you and your life.  Spend time in His word and prayer seeking His will and purpose for your life.

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• 

Hi Friends, Where do you turn when you need relationship problem advice? Well, there are several options available to you.

You can do some research on the internet to find what you need to know or you can read a book. If you do not find what you need there, you can find someone to talk to. There are therapists out there who specialize in relationships and the problems that can go along with them.

Usually though, before any of the above takes place people who find themselves with a relationship problem advice comes from friends and family. As misguided as this may be it is a step taken by a lot of people. When things start to go bad you tend to look to anyone and everyone for help and people you trust top that list.

Take the advice you get from friends and family with a grain of salt though, every situation is different and your situation is no exception. Advice you get from friends and family may not work for your situation and could confuse things even further.

What you need at a time like this is straight forward, sound advice to help you figure out a bad situation. Trust your instincts when it comes to the advice you find on the internet and in books, too. If it doesn’t sound good do not try to use it to fix things between you and your partner.

So, what is the biggest reason why people have problems in their relationship? Lack of communication or lack of effective communication techniques. People just do not know how to talk to each other. Good communication techniques can be learned and if you want to save your relationship you should do whatever it takes to learn them.

Do not make fixing your relationship harder than it has to be. No one is born knowing how to be a good communicator. There are classes you can take at your local community college or you can go see that therapist and they can help you learn what to say and how to say it so your partner will listen and engage in the conversation.

When you learn to communicate effectively you can handle anything that comes up in your life including fixing your romantic relationship. When there is no communication, something that started out to be a small misunderstanding could easily be blown out of proportion and become the thing that destroys a once good relationship.

It is so easy to fall into a dynamic that is unhealthy in your relationship due to ineffective communication. Once the dynamic changes in your relationship it is not so easy to change it back and your relationship may never be the same even if you do learn the right things to do.

If the damage has been done and you are looking for relationship problem advice remember to trust your instincts and do what is best for you and your partner, it will be worth it in the long run.

Don’t mislead your obvious feelings.  In other words it it smells like a duck and it quacks like a duck, AND it looks like a duck it probably is a duck.  Self dilusion can be terrible.  I suggest praying, reading God’s word and seeking His guidance.  Most times I have found If I let go and let God things work out better.

Hoping this helps,

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• 

Hi Friends,  Here are a few Tips On Keeping That Relationship From Going To Pieces. If you are now in a relationship that seems to be going South quickly, and if it is worth saving here are some things you can do to preclude be single again.

What are some reasons you would have to fix your marriage? It does not matter how long a couple has been married, problems can arise at any time. If life gets in the way, the two of you need to stop and take a step back. Take some time to re-evaluate the things that are important in your lives.

The most important factor in any relationship is the ability of the two people involved to communicate effectively. When communication breaks down you will find the relationship is in trouble. Ineffective communication can lead to misunderstandings. Misunderstandings can lead to hurt feelings and resentments. Hurt feelings and resentments can lead to divorce.

So if you do not want to give all of your money to a couple of lawyers you need to learn how to fix your marriage.

The first thing you need to do is to figure out what went wrong and you need to work together to accomplish this. So, if you can stand to be in the same room with each other, make plans to sit down and talk.

Have a notepad and pen available so you can each write down what your perceptions are about your relationship and when you think things began to sour and why. When your list is made, compare them. In doing this you can start to gather some insight into how your partner’s perception of the same situation differs from yours. These differences should help open the lines of communication and get you both talking and the state of your marriage should begin to get clearer.

I know what it’s like to have hurt feelings in a relationship. The logical progression of things means that the next step is laying blame on the other. Then, everything begins to snowball and eventually you can’t even recognize the relationship because of all the baggage it is buried under.

To increase your chances of success you should consider hiring a counselor or therapist. Usually when a couple gets to this point in their marriage, there is so much resentment and anger that it’s hard for them to be in the same room together without it turning into a fight. How are you going to discuss the issues in your marriage and make any progress when the two of you are so mired down in your pain and resentment?

In most cases you aren’t. Having a counselor to act as a referee can help the two of you keep moving forward to find the solutions you need.  If you keep fighting you wont ever get anywhere. So having a counselor helping may make all the difference.

The longer you allow the problems in your marriage to fester, the longer it will take to address those problems and find a solution. Do yourself a favor and realize that it is possible to fix your marriage but it will take time, patience and love. Don’t expect it to happen overnight or with no time and effort. Just let love be your guide.

Just as there are no perfect people, there are no perfect relationships.  Growing up and maturing is learning to make the best of what you have.  Otherwise you will be a lifetime frustrated searcher. Gather that other person and pray together.  Open up and pour out your hearts to one another and to God.  Then watch the results.
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• 

Hi Friends, Yes Healing From A Broken Heart Will Take Time. Every person is equipped with their own special emotional gear box.  Your situation might heal faster or slower than someone elses emotional pain.  Try to make some progress every day and day by day it will get better.

Are you dealing with a broken heart? Do you want to know what can be done to make healing a broken heart faster and less painful? Believe it or not, there are a few things that can be done to speed up the process a little bit, but please understand that some pain is inevitable.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they are trying to move on after a painful breakup is to set a time limit. Often times well meaning friends will tell you to ‘snap out of it’, or ‘it’s time to get back out there’.  But what do they know? It will take you as long as it takes. If you rush through the process without allowing yourself to grieve and process everything that’s happened, you could end up with a lot of nasty baggage that will follow you around for the rest of your life.

So, as odd as it sounds, in order to be able to have healthy relationships in the future, make sure you deal with all the hurt and pain in the present. That doesn’t mean, though, that there aren’t some things you can do while you’re healing a broken heart that will make it a little easier and seem to go by a little quicker.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to live your life. I know, that sounds ridiculously insane to think  about when you feel like you can barely breathe, but it’s possible and important.

No one is suggesting that you go out and date, you shouldn’t. Not until you’re fully over the pain and confusion of a breakup and you can be sure that you are ready to date and not just dating because you are lonely. You don’t want to get into a rebound relationship. It’s not good for you or the person you get involved with.

But, you can and should spend time doing the things you love to do. True, since you are still hurting you probably won’t get the same level of happiness when you do them that you used to, but you may just be surprised to find yourself actually laughing and having fun… at least for a little while.

More than likely there are things that you used to love to do that you didn’t do with your ex. Your ex simply wasn’t interested in doing them and you just wanted to spend time with your ex so you stopped doing them too. That’s very common. So, why not do them know? What activity or place did you enjoy before you and your ex got together? What things have you put on the back burner while you were in a relationship? Do those things now. It can make you feel a lot better to remind yourself that you have a great life and you have a lot of options in that life.

Do activities that are positive and that will help you resume your life and move forward. It doesn’t have to be anything huge, maybe just paint your living room, but as long as you continue to get out and live while you are healing a broken heart you’ll be less focused on your pain and more focused on life… and that can make the healing process go by so much more quickly.

Let Go And Let God

Larry

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• 

Hi Friends,  Just Suppose You Really Do Want To Get Back Together With Your Ex Friend or Spouse.  Here are some steps you can begin with.

We have all been there at one time or another. We are in a relationship, and we think things are going along just fine. But then it happens. The next thing you know is you’re looking at the wrong side of a break up. No question, it is a tough thing to have to go through. You’re left wondering what happened, and you have to live with the results. There are hurt feelings, but as they say, time heals all wounds. You start to miss what you once had and decide that you want to win your love back. It’s not going to be easy, but it can be done.

Before you can move forward on trying to get back together, you have to take an honest look at what you had before. The problem is that we have a tendency to look back with fondness and see things as better than they really were. Try to picture yourself as a disinterested observer. What do you see? Can you see where things went wrong? More importantly, no matter how bad it was, will you be able to do whatever it takes to build a new relationship?

Keep in mind that a lot of other before you have tried to mend broken relationships. They thought they could make it work. Yet, after all of their effort, they simply were not able to stay together, if they were able to get back together at all. However, there have also been those who were able to have a new life together, and one that was far better than the one they knew before. Hopefully you will be one of the success stories. Just remember it will take effort and commitment. For the sake of the rest of this article, we will assume that you have decided you really do want to win your love back, and are willing to give it the effort that entails.

Your next step is to take a close look at your faults; specifically those faults that contributed to your relationship coming to an end. Once you figure out what those are, you need to do what you can to fix them. Remember, you have no power to directly change anybody else except yourself. So, this means you need to do your best to become a better person and learn from your past mistakes.

Once you have this done, you can talk to your ex about how you have changed. However, don’t start going into all of the details about how you are going to win them back. If you come on too strong, too quickly, you will only scare them away. Another thing to keep in mind is that actions speak louder than words. So, while you can tell your ex that you have changed, you will come out much further ahead if you can show them that you have changed for the better. As mentioned earlier, trying to win your love back won’t always be easy, but it is possible.

Just remember our emotions were given to us by God..He wants us to enjoy them and life with others but sometimes we want to be in control of His will.  Pray about your situation.  Talk with confident Christian friends and “Let Go And Let God”.

Hope this helps

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• 

  Hi Friends,  Dealing with a brieak up is never easy.  Here are a few steps you can take to get through the tough stuff  and begin living again.  For some folks it’s pretty easy and for others breakups take a long , long time.

 Dealing with a break up is never an easy thing to do. If you find you’re having difficulty coping with things after a relationship has come to an end, don’t worry, you are experiencing a perfectly normal reaction. However, you can’t spend the rest of your life trying to deal with a failed relationship.

There are two main options available to you for dealing with a break up. The first option is to let it keep eating away at you and to let it rip you apart, figuratively speaking. This is similar to the idea of “that which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger”. Well, that may be true, to some degree, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best choice for coping with your new situation.

The second option is to face it head on and work through it. The first option you can do without any help, though it is not advised. With that in mind, here are some thoughts on the second option. Break ups can leave a deep emotional impact, but that doesn’t mean you have to let a break up destroy you as a person. You will do much better from a survival standpoint if you are able to continually remind yourself that one incident is not what defines you. It’s difficult for any relationship to come to an end, whether it’s a marriage of more than twenty years, or a romantic fling of a few months.

Depending on the circumstances it can be easy to let it have a negative impact on your self-esteem. If this is the case, don’t hesitate to get some help from a counselor or even a trusted friend. Just remember that you don’t have to go through this alone.

It’s better to handle these problems before they get out of hand. It’s not easy. Anybody who has been through a break up would agree with that. Sometimes just knowing others have gone through the same thing can bring some comfort. Talk about it, but not in a negative way as this will only push away the people most willing to help. Just find somebody else that can relate to what you’re going through.

Yes, your situation is different, and nobody else can truly understand what you’re going through, but even a little bit of understanding can go a long way. The other important part of dealing with a break up is to not obsess over it. You still have a life to live, so live it. Even if you just have to go through the motions for a while, it’s vital that you try to hold on to some semblance of normalcy.

You may want to avoid the places and things you most closely associate with your ex, at least for a while. Now, you can’t avoid the whole world, so there will be times when you just need to face things and handle them as good as you can.

Breakups are a normal part of maturing until you are lucky enough to have God match you with the right person.  That doesn’t discount the emotional pain that is felt when a breakup occurs. Keep close to fellow Christians during this emotional trying time. Find one you can confide in and pray with. 

Whatever you do, please don’t run and hide from them or God.

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• 

Hi Friends, yes grief is normal when a relationship ends.  And, it doesn’t have to be a deep long term relationship either. Sometimes it can be a short encounter which for reasons beyond your control, it ends.

There is no gettin around it when a relationship ends someone grieves.  If that person is you and you are overwhelmed with the dark blanket of grief, here are a few suggestions to help you move along.  Not discounting your grief,  it might and can take a while to move forward.

There are five stages to dealing with broken relationship grief, just as there are 5 stages to go through any emotional grief. Understanding where you are at and knowing that what you are feeling is all just part of a natural (though painful) process can help you get through your tough time.

The first stage is denial. This is where you convince yourself (or try to convince yourself) that your breakup didn’t really occur. This also manifests itself as you waiting for the person to sit down with you at dinner or pick you up at work. In this stage, there are often no tears because the reality hasn’t sunk in yet or you are not accepting or even acknowledging your loss.

The next stage is anger. This can be directed towards the world, at God (“Why me?!), at your ex and at yourself. In this stage you often want to get even with your ex or you act out towards others who try to help you.

Then comes the bargaining stage. This can actually come before you split definitively as well. Here is where you try to get him or her back by making deals or begging the person to return. You could also be bargaining with God or some higher power in this stage. . . “If you bring him/her back to me, I promise I’ll go to church every Sunday. . .” This phase includes a great deal of pleading, wishing and praying for things to go back to normal.

The next step in dealing with broken relationship grief is depression. In this stage you may feel extremely sad or completely overwhelmed with hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, feeling sorry for yourself, and mourning. Here, any unacknowledged emotions have caught up with you and they’re in full force. You see a different future than what you may be used to seeing and feel defenseless and numb.

Finally, and fortunately, you hit the acceptance stage. Here is where you accept the mistakes you have made and the results of those mistakes. Here is where you accept that the person is out of your life, or at least will not play the same role as they have until recently. It’s important to note that acceptance is not resignation. You are not giving up in this stage. On the contrary, it is only now that you can start to gradually build your goals for the future and leave your relationship in the past.

Eventually, you will get to the point that you can appreciate what you have learned in this tough period. It’s also a good idea to get help or have a good friend that you can confide in regularly. Remember that you are not alone by any means and that you will survive, as have thousands of others when dealing with broken relationship grief.

I really hope some of this allows you to see a beginning of sunshine returning to your life.  If you would like some more help you can try these resouces.

God Bless,

larry;@christiansingleagain.com

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• 

Hi Friends, Post Relationship Depression And How To Handle It Is the topic today.

It is vital to realize that post-relationship depression is a very real problem. While that may not be a medical diagnosis, you must take it seriously, seeking professional help if needed.

Chances are your friends will try to cheer you up. But, let’s face it, sometimes the things they say after a break up only make it worse. However, they can be a great resource to recovering from heartbreak, so be sure to take them up on any offers to help; assuming they fit in with your plans.

The main thing you need to do at this point is focus on taking care of yourself. You may not feel like eating, talking to anyone, or even taking care of basic hygiene. But you have to find a way to do it. Again, see a professional if these things start happening.

Though you may feel like it now, don’t try to erase your ex completely from your mind. It’s impossible to do so, and by trying to forget, you will actually be remembering more. You may want to get right back into another relationship to forget your ex (or to fill the void that has been left by their leaving). You just have to give it time. Do your best to avoid harmful rebound relationships, at all costs, as they can lead to a much worse situation.

One thing that really helps is to be around people. It may be difficult to be around friends and family that offer advice without understanding what you’re really going through. The trick is to be social without having to deal with people that know you, your ex, or your situation. That’s why volunteering for charities outside of your home is such a great idea. You don’t have to worry about the excess emotional baggage, and you are getting rid of your depression after a break up and helping others at the same time.

While being around other people can work wonders, it’s okay to enjoy your own company, too. Now is the ideal time to do things you have always wanted to do. Just be careful not to do things you associate with being a couple, at least at first.

A lot of depression after a break up stems from having too much extra time. How you use that time is key to your emotional well-being. You can use this time to make yourself more miserable, or you can use it to become a better, stronger, happier person. Admittedly, the latter choice isn’t always easy, but it is possible…the choice is yours!

It’s OK to feel normal emotional events in your life.  And particularly after a relationship break-up you can feel like a falling ball with no ground in sight. However, as a Christian you need to remember that your God loves you and cares for this perfect creation He created – You!  Talk to Him also, if the break up is real then it is over.  But, if God wants you back together then that will happen too.

You might be interested in reading “A Christians Guide To Internet Dating”  written by and for Christian Singles.
Click Here!
And A new sponsor I joined hands with Christian Mingle…..Why not take a look?

Larry

http://christiansingleagain.com

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Hi Friends, I suppose the title says it all….Breakups Can Stink !

Finding the best ways of handling  relationship breakups is a skill no one wants to be able to perfect.  In this case practice may make perfect but no on wants to endure the pain, confusion and humiliation once, let alone several times during their lives. The truth is though that most of us will go through it at least a couple of times. And though it sucks, having some idea of the best way to get through it may just help you keep yourself sane the next time it happens.

There  is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that’s the truth. But, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that you can do that will help lessen the pain, or at least distract you from it for a little while. There are many things that can do that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don’t fall into the trap of using destructive things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.

1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn’t say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I’m talking about  is the “don’t get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don’t leave your house for a week” wallowing. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that’s it. Even though you’ll still be hurting after a week it’s time to get back out in the world and live your life.  Before you move out of this stage though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex. You probably shouldn’t throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you’re out of pain and you’re sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the basement or attic, out of sight.

2. Once you’ve gotten past the wallowing and you’re in the ‘I’m alive, though barely’ stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are fun (or at least you used to think  they were fun before this pain started).  Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can.  It won’t take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help enormously.

One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You’re not ready and you’ll either feel guilty afterward or you’ll hurt an innocent person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until your truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won’t happen for a while.

Relationship breakups stink, sorry, but there’s no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as quickly and easily as possible and believe that some day you will meet someone wonderful, again.

As you know if you are already a Christian hurt, healing and restoration will be part of our lives until God takes us home.  However, He also is able to give us the peace we need to get through the struggle.

“And Peace Was Prepared For You…..BEFORE ever your war was !

I love it.

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Hi Friends,

How to cope with the emotional crossfire after a breakup can be difficult. Let’s take this apart and try to understand some of what is going on.  Just remember that emotions are God given but, we need to make sure we try to use them in the right way.  Also, emotions are real, so don’t let anyone tell you ….”You shouldn’t feel that way!”.

It’s tough but in life we find that good relationships can be divided into the before commitment and after commitment stages. While poor relationships can also be split into two distinct stages of their own: Before break-up and after break-up. There is a bit of dark humor there, because you will often think you are in the one of the two good relationship stages until it’s too late.

Perhaps that’s why sadness, anger, guilt and depression are just a few of the emotions that make having a very hard time coping after break-up a not too uncommon experience. After all, things are going along just fine, because you are either committed to each other already, or about to be…at least that’s what you’re thinking. Then, wham! You find out you are now going through the after break-up. Here are a few ways to help you get through this difficult time more easily.

One of the best things you can do is find useful outlets for your time. While you may feel like punching a hole in the wall or other destructive things, they won’t do anything to help. The key is to find positive ways to use your time. Stay active at work or with your other commitments. If your schedule allows, you can even add an activity or two. Just be careful to not overdo it. There is often a fine line between staying active and denial.

Having a very hard time coping after break-up usually results in crawling into a little hole and wallowing in self-pity. That may be a bit blunt for some, but I hope it shakes them up! You have to be with people. There’s no other way around it.

Talk to a trusted friend, preferably one that doesn’t talk to your ex. Having someone to listen to you will go a long way towards helping you deal with the bad feelings you’re experiencing. Even though friends do their best, sometimes they just aren’t able to listen enough. You can take this idea to the next level by getting help from a mental health professional or find a therapist – some people don’t go out of fear of embarrassment or ridicule, but they are there to help, and are required to keep everything confidential.

Forgiveness can be hard to give, but it is wonderfully liberating. If your ex was at fault, forgive them. Even tougher to do, though, is forgiving yourself. Whether it was really your fault or not isn’t the point. Getting rid of the guilt is.

You may want to avoid everything but you will eventually have to face the fact that you went through a break up. That is, ultimately, the only way to ever get over it completely. You can’t ignore it forever. Bad stuff happens to good people. You have to move on.

And please remember, that as a Christian you have an indwelling spirit that will walk with you through times of stress.  Every week as a Deacon I see and hear of serious problems that without God in their lives the problems would be unmanageable. Take advantage of the wonderful gift you have and spend time in prayer seeking peace and understanding that only A Holy God can provide.

A Christians Guide To Internet Dating is an excellent resource ….
Click Here!
As we journey,

Feeling bad after a break-up is normal. Staying attached to those feelings for a long time isn’t healthy. Use the tips above to start getting to a more positive place. Once you do, you will be able to enjoy life much more than you do now.

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Hi Friends,

If you know the warning signs of a break up you will be better able to avoid splitting from your lover. All relationships are different but there are usually similar symptoms of trouble to look out for:

1) Your partner is ignoring you.

Now I don’t mean that they are not talking to you. Ignoring someone, is where you lose interest in that person and never ask them how they are, what they are feeling or even where they were? If you are like two ships that pass in the night, your love life may need a little work.

Stop to think why they could be ignoring you? Have you forgotten their birthday or some other special event? Have you been less than loving lately? Are they feeling neglected? People usually react over something they feel has happened. This could just be their perception but as they are your lover and you should be trying to keep them happy, you need to understand their point of view.

So why not surprise them with a nice meal and sit them down and ask them what is going on? Why are they grumpy, although I would probably phrase that question a little better! It could be that they are preoccupied with a problem totally outside your relationship. Communication between couples is not always what it should be; so try talking. Who knows where it may lead?

2) Your partner doesn’t want to see you or go out with you.

If your lover suddenly becomes unavailable and too busy to see you, the red warning light should go on. There is a reason why they are avoiding you and you need to find out what that is. Don’t be a doormat or perhaps I should say bedmat. There is no excuse, for not facing your boyfriend or girlfriend, to find out why they think it is acceptable to behave like this.  Whatever you do, do not ignore these signals or you could find yourself in receipt of a break up letter.

3) Your partner is distant in the bedroom

While sex is only a three letter word, it can cause huge problems. Just ask any couple who has been together a long time.   Sometimes your family or life’s issues can get in the way of your lovemaking. It is also a well known fact, that the initial burst of animal attraction usually doesn’t last, so not making love every night is quite normal. What is not normal is not being intimate for months on end. Couples are held together by shared emotions and feelings.  So don’t underestimate the power of a cuddle.

You should know when your partner is happy and when he or she isn’t. Sometimes their mood will have nothing to do with your actions; but often it is an indication of trouble brewing. Pay attention and look out for the above warnings signs of a break up. Otherwise you could find yourself newly single and wondering what happened!

Let’s start getting some of these steps right before we encouonter a breadup.

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